Hello & Bye.... nothing to hold back

Hi, wil like to tell u that : i really appreciate to hv u as my fren.. reaallyyy never never expect to bump into u again.

Well, as life is always soo colourful, we hv went thru ups n downs, n we r half of our life journey now. From those peoples who we meeting day in day out, stil i wil say : frens we know from school r the most precious. N we wont know when we wil get out of our life journey, n it really worry me, like people said : first we all wil gather, meeting our frens in reunion, wedding gathering, etc then funeral.. oh gosh.. that's y i wil always treat today as last day. Additional to this, we r getting older n older, n we know ourselves well, we r getting weaker n weaker

That's also the reason y : when last met u in Clinic, i was struggling hard either to drop u a mesg (to continue to hv a precious fren like u) or that's it : just a hi~bye fren

Anyway, frenship is two ways traffic, u hv my contact too.. feel free to drop me a mesg, or watever greetings, or talk nonsense (as real frenship is with no benefit to b granted) or share ur cutie little sweet heart, or blah blah blah.. or if u wan to buy me a meal.. (hahaaha.. that's the main point : free meals !!)

If hv chance, i wil share with u my twins then. Time really flies, fast progress til i lost track~perhaps sign of aging (poor memory) thats y i started to hv bbs' journal

p/s : waiting and waiting... still... that's no news from him. just a simple mesg also dun have, Why shall i still keeping this type of friend who do not appreciate me ? Let's it gooooooo

重逢。。。

前两个星期，姐姐生病还没好，所以我请了半天假带他去看医生，因为医生说若三天后还没好就要倒回来

早上去到 Dr Tang's clinic 很多人，所以爸爸建议报名先然后去吃早餐在到回来。。

正当我匆匆忙忙报名后要离开观赏玻璃门时，突然一个收悉的脸孔从人群中出现。。 眼睛迷糊的我看不清楚就上车去了！

回到诊所时，我问护士：“刚才是不是有个姓Yeoh 的家长？”，护士问我是Venice Yeoh 吗？ 我不知道。。。只告诉护士因该是吧？我不懂孩子的名字，因为刚才的那个家长很像我多年的朋友。。

离开那么多年了。。。 正当我重见到他时，我觉得还好！但。。我的心就是很不舒服！！我心里的那个结又出现了。。

有两样东西我放不下，我很想知道：-

1）为何要我等他毕业回国，就这样痴痴的等了四年，好不容易盼她读完书工作拿经验回国，去机场接机，没有第二次的约会。。。就告诉我，我们不适合，分手！！未免太残忍了吗？是不是因为你在国外寂寞？需要有人陪你谈天？你回来后，我们完全没有真正的尝试在一起，你就这样判我死刑？完全不给我解释的机会？？？我放不下，你欠我一个交待。。。到现在:我们一起电邮，所说过的话还是很清新的在我脑海里

2）我为了等你回国，那时的我没能力给深爱的你什么贵重的礼物或见面礼，所以很费心思将我们从头到尾（直到你回国）的所有邮件拍得整整齐齐，游泳卡通人物的信纸 打印好放在一个File 里！！它是我们所有的回忆，我们的一切。。当我将它交到你手上时，我真的很希望读了它，会改变主意。。我们可以再在一起，从distance love 的各种幻想，各种我们想一起做的东西，现在我们已经没有了距离的限制，我们可以在一起了！！但就着那么一句“我们不适和，一切就毁了

也就是因为这样我对吴淡如书里说的话印像深刻：

世界上最遥远的距离，不是生与死 
而是我就站在你的面前，你却不知道我爱你 

世界上最遥远的距离，不是我站在你面前，你却不知道我爱你 
而是明明知道彼此相爱，却不能在一起 

世界上最遥远的距离，不是明明知道彼此相爱，却不能在一起 
而是明明无法抵挡这股想念，却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里 

世界上最遥远的距离，不是明明无法抵挡这股想念，却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里， 
而是用自己冷漠的心对爱你的人掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠

当时的我真的很不开心，一向一个人的我，没有人可以与我谈天，所以我看了很多很多的书，很想从书里找答案，我可以如何挽回呢？我真的很想很想挽回！！我们从remove class就开始暗恋对方，但从来不表白，虽然我还我们各自都转校了，但就是隔壁的学校，我们去一样的补习班，但就是羞羞地打个招呼而已，从来没谈天。知道你出国升学，我们不懂那里拿到对方的电邮在开始联络，也才开始表白！！也就是因为这样自我会特别的珍惜我们的这一份感情，经得了时间的考验（从remove class 1989 年至1995），再加上你出国四年。。。所以我觉得放弃可惜，我不想再有这样的遗憾。。。 但单掌拍不响，你就是很坚决地拒绝了我！！很伤。。很伤！！！

当迷迷糊糊的重逢时，我犹豫了很久，我与友人提起，我可以再联络你吗？？但，不懂为何。。当与他们提起，我的眼泪不受控制地直流。。。当时我知道，我应该还没准备好与你见面，担心我会很失态！

就如Ms Chong 所说的 :

of cause it is an answer you would wan to know after all these years. but before you do it, ask yourself this question.. How important is it to you that you must know the answer ? after all these years and you have your own family and he is. if it is important to you, then ask him. get in the contact. at least you know why. rather than giving yourself all sorts of reasons on your own. but after knowing, would it hurt you more ? nobody knows till it happends. it just my point of view. remember i am much older than you. although i din't go thru all these before, only had 1 an the last one.. but gone thru ups and downs, happiness and sadness thru years, i find out that i can't tears easily. however i tear crazily watching dramas and movie though

想了想，两个礼拜后，我决定 Watapss 你，找不到你的电话号码，唯有向诊所要：

Haloo...

nv expect will bump into old olllldd fren in dr tang's clinic, how are you doing ?

who is this ?

chua soh hoon

Hi :)

the other i still thougth i see wrongly

i mean the other day

aunty is like that larrr

driving me crazy when they sick sick

because i didn't see you in the clinic then all of a sudden i see you at the door

yeah i know

full house, so i registered and went for bfast first

weather change

no wonder, lol

nv notice you were insdie too, when i closed the door, suddenly someone stepped out, how many kids you have ?

twins ?

1 daughter

because after injection, fever

douther is good, daddy's sweet heart

yes

how many years aldy ?

2 yrs

yup, twins.. 15 mths both girls

nice

double happiness, double headache too

girl is easier to take care

lok.. i was about to say the same thing.. hahah

i tot ur kids shd be very big alrady, met up with beng hua, his kids are big

at least both will not give me headache at hte same time

gotta chat later. soemthing comes up

sure

离这次的再次交谈，每当短讯传进来时，我都一直带着希望，因为你说chat later， 已经一个星期过去了，还是一个 ‘等’字。。 我不懂，我就是很想很想知道为什么。。。接下来我应该怎样做呢？你可以当个鸵鸟，但我心里就是有一个解不开的结，结铃终需要结铃人。。。 我希望你可以好好的给我一个交待！现在我们俩都有了各自的家庭。。

我在想，我可以传一个长的短讯给你。。。让你知道这段时间发生了什么事吗？我是多么的在意，多么的努力，当到现在：可以说我还是很珍惜你这个朋友。。。我不想因为这样。。。就完了。。。